Learning to share, or not

Saturday, after lunch with the parents, laundry, and some quality Metroid time, I was privileged to enjoy dinner with the Chastain family at Pappasito's. Bryan looks like a child molester with his "beard".

As for the evening's activities, I had a few options. The first years were going to hear some blues. Of Montreal was playing at Mary Jane's, and had been excellent on previous occasions (though they are, thankfully, back in June). And then, Holly's friends were throwing a party, and I had kind of committed to going.

Consequently, you get to hear me bitch for a bit.

The problem here is that, before we hooked up, Holly had invited UQ#1 to the party. Additionally, to UQ#1 (now known, but the name stays), I was an unknown quantity. Holly hadn't told him about me, so we weren't "together" at the party—but they were.

I was wishing I still had one of my emergency dates around (Sabrina, Charlene, Robyn: I'm looking in your direciton). The best I could come up with was Stephanie, who surprisingly decided to come. She would have made an excellent emergency date, actually, as she's fun to flirt with and many people at the party apparently asked Holly if we were a couple (including people who had, six months previously, been told otherwise). However, Holly knows Stephanie, so it didn't really do me any good in the jealousy department. Still, Stephanie was a good distraction.

Things were finel, for a while. There was a keg and lots of liquor. UQ#1 wasn't there. I hoped maybe he wouldn't show up. The party kind of sucked, but I had Holly and Stephanie there, so that was OK, really. UQ#1 eventually showed up, but neither Holly nor I really interacted with him. Holly had to give somebody a ride home, and I went with her, which was nice, but she told me something about needing to spend more time with him when we got back—and she did, or at least she spent quite a bit of time grabbing his ass. Fortunately, it was late, and I took off pretty quickly.

Now I have to take my share of the blame. I knew, somewhat, what I was getting into, and I chose to come anyway—partly out of obligation, partly because I thought I could handle it. I probably should have known that easily-hurt-drunk-Ward doesn't deal well with these things, so maybe I deserved it. But I don't think it's unreasonable for me to have been upset by this.

I feel like I'm still OK with sharing her, in the abstract (or at least I should be). I want to date other (still fictional) people, and she wants to date this other guy. God knows why; he's nice enough, he's not particularly smart, funny, or interesting. I thought maybe he was just cuter than I was, but Holly claims that I'm the cute one. I don't get it, but then again, I frequently find the actions of women baffling—wow, I sound like such a typical guy.

And I don't have to get it, or even be OK with it. I just have to weigh this against what I get out of the relationship, and decide if it's worthwhile. Which, it should be, if I'm just careful not to put myself in bullshit situations like that again.

Holly called the next morning to see if I wanted to go get juice with her. I was still sort of sleeping and turned her down, but she had sounded concerned about my feelings (which she damn well should have been), and also seemed upset about some other random shit that went down between her and the party's hostess, so I called back and invited her to drop by. And it was nice. Not nice enough to put up with any more of the shit that had gone on previously, but maybe nice enough to ignore it.

I do have pictures:


Stephanie didn't want her picture taken.


There was some hot foot rubbing action.


Holly, drinking her beer. I'll put a better picture of her up as soon as I take one.